just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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