You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
