I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
