there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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