dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
