i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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