But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
