i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm drive I can fine osifer
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
