dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
