The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
