We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
