You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize