Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
