Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Randomize
