Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Randomize
