VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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