What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Randomize
