my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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