I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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