I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
