you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Randomize
