I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
