Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize