that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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