Will you blow on my dice?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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