The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize