It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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