And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
