i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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