I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
