He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
