My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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