1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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