Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
