So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I think people are normalizing furries
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
