he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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