I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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