My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
