My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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