thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
