Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Im part way to drunk.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
