guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
