Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
