I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
