we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
