I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
