so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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