Just mADE A PArabola og urine
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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