The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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