No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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