i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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