I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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