were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You can't special order awesome
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
there is glitter all over my balls
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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