Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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