You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
