Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
