im six kinds of drunk right now
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
