What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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