I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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