Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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