He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
