I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I feel like abortions should bother me more
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
