1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
