Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
