You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
