i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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