i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
