I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
