We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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