i jhust puked up my retainher.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
