I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
