I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize